Friday, September 18, 2009

My County Jail Blues

Well, I'm sitting here at my computer wondering where I should begin.It is getting late but I have alot on my mind.I am going to visit my son tomorrow.I haven't seen him in over 3 weeks.
I don't really know how I feel about going to see him.It should be a happy occasion but instead it isn't! It really bites! You see my son Jason is incarcerated!Big fancy word for being in jail.I really don't get to see him anyway except through a video camera that projects his image onto a screen kind of like my computer.So I get to see his face on a computer.
I can't even begin to tell you how much it sucks having my son in jail.It hurts so much that if it weren't for my turning back to God and Jesus(because of this happening) I wouldn't be writing this, in the same capacity.
I don't know why this all had to happen, well ,I take that back.It was the only way God could get my sons full attention(his words) because he wanted nothing to do with anything right or being respectful of any rules or laws.I can't really go into the charges here yet because he still has to go to trial.
All I can say is it is very serious and the prosecuter wanted to originally give him 5 years!!That was the DEAL, as I always hear it said on T.V.Doesn't sound like much of a deal to me!!All, I can do as a Mom is hope and pray for the best possible outcome, for him. As it is, at this writing he will be a convicted FELON.A bad guy with a black mark on his life. Some days I can't even wrap my head around it all,ya know?
It sure has made me a better runner, though.I just channel all that anger, pain and frustration into my runs and voila this GiRL Can RuN!!!
I am smiling as I write this because what else can I do???So I train and run and train and run and that is part of all of my insanity that has most recently become my life.I've turned the painful and feelings of having no control into something productive, at least in a physical sense!! I am so down with that right now and it is working for me!
I'm thinking I better go for tonight but I will be updating on this as I learn more~


Hoity Toity Baby said...

The hardest part has to be the lack of control over the whole situation! Lack of control over your son't behavior. Lack of control over the trial and lack of control over the overall outcome. You can raise your children with all the morals and teach them the right from wrong and still, ultimately, their life is their life to live as they please. Even screw it up! All you can do, at this point, is pray to God that he gets it now. :) Thank God Jake & Delaney are only 2!

Ladybug Mama said...

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I'm sure it's super tough. I hope all goes well. You're in my prayers.

Steph said...

Sending you big hugs and good thoughts and prayers for you and your son. I am amazed at how positive you are through all of this! Hope that things turn out well.

parentingBYdummies said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. I decided to stop over b/c your profile seemed interesting, adult children and baby twins, whew! Plus, I liked how you made a typo on your comment and then fixed; gotta love attention to detail! Now that I'm here I see that your life is even more intriguing than I imagined. I'm so sorry your family is experiencing this difficult situation, but you seem to be handling it well. I'm hopeful that things work out okay for you all and I will be reading to see how it goes. And, I don't know how old you are, but for having five kids, three of which are adults, you look pretty freakin' hot! Off to be jealous:)

Krissy @ B.Inspired, Mama! said...

Stopping in from SITS.

I'm sorry to hear about your challenges with your son. I'm glad that you are able to focus on the positive in the situation and channel your energy into running. I have difficulty running right now due to my weight, but I am working on that slowly, and that is one of my goals! You're such an inspiration!

WhisperingWriter said...

I'm so sorry about your son. I hope you're able to have a good visit with him.

Soul Fitness said...

I am sorry to hear about your pain. I have found that running is the best therapy second to prayer. Keep up with both.

SHaron said...

They say that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. I think that was from a Hallmark movie or something, but it's still a true statement regardless!

Enjoying your blog!

E @ Scottsville said...

Hey there, just stopped by to visit you since you dropped me a line on my blog! Your twins are just beautiful!

After reading your post....I have a 19 year old that sounds a lot like your son that's currently in jail. It really is HARD to watch them screw up their lives and not know how to help them. I know I raised mine right and God promises that they will not depart from it. SOOOO, I'm just praying that my son comes back to "right" sooner than later. I don't know how 'low' he's got to get before he realizes there's nobody left to bail him out but God. Mine isn't in jail, but has been arrested before and is living life like there's no tomorrow. *Sigh*

Anyway, good to "Meet" you. =0)


Jen said...

I am sorry to hear about this. I think you have it right about it being Gods way of getting his full attention. Sometimes it takes a little time for someone to take things seriously. I hope things get better :)

Off to read more of you blog :)